"Living funeral" thoughts on list

While I was making the list I noticed that out of all the people I know and consider my friends, I would exclude most of the from the living funeral. Thinking of the memories I created with specific people, only those that emotionally affected me the most are invited. I think this is because at the end I started thinking about the beginning. I chose people who met me when I was very young and are close to me. They remind me who I was and Who I have become. In my list there are people who I met recently, but they had a great impact on me that I felt the need of adding them to the list. I consider them as my mirror, I see myself in them as if they were my own future. I would love these people on my list to spend my last moments with me talking about my past and their own future. They are people I love very much and it saddens me to think that If I were to die soon, I did not tell them how important they are to me. This list helped me value the people around me even more than before. Even though the possibility of me being diagnosed with a lethal disease is small, I still think that I could die any moment and I'd like to spend my time with those I love as if it were the last.

Regarding Morrie, I think he is a courageous man who is willing to live until his last breath. Many people today, consider themselves "already dead" or "dead walkers" for the lack of joy and happiness in their lives. Morrie adapted to his own circumstances and learnt how to live happily with these. Having a living funeral could be consider as a farewell, but it could also be having others witness the great person you are still living as. He could be easily identified as a living model, but it would be rather complicated to apply this way of thinking to our normal lives. We are too attached to idealism that we forget the importance of actually living. Some of us are not even familiar with this concept and live their lives along with others as a herd of goats. Complicating ourselves rather than living emotionally effortless seems to be far more interesting to most people.

This reminds me of the quote from the movie Brave heart, "Every man dies, no man really lives". This statement could apply to everyone including Morrie. What is being alive to us?
If our definition of death is entirely clear, then why is it that our definition of life is often confusing to us? Life could be a mere balance between good and bad. A balance that no one entirely possesses. It is possible that by experiencing sadness and experiencing happiness equally would allow us to discover the feeling of being alive. However most people do not experience this balance. There is often more black than white within ourselves.

I think living funerals are not formally practiced by most people because the condemn person is too afraid of not living his future. Death is part of life, and people do not fear it. People are scared of the transition and what they will miss if they are gone. Technically when a person dies everything is over for him or her. Most people cannot accept "the end", therefore they rely on beliefs regarding afterlife in order to feel better. There are people who even think they will be happier in the afterlife and are looking forward on dying. However, dead or alive the world will not stop rotating because of our existence.

I am personally not afraid of dying at this point. I have accepted my fragile mortality in this world. However, I am still sad that I am not leaving sufficiently behind. Thinking of the end makes me feel so insignificant. It would not be a good idea to fight the immensity of life and death. I am currently alive, and whatever it is to come then so be it. Ultimately there is no right and wrong on how to live our lives. Therefore, there is no need on expectations. A living funeral would be a mere farewell that would be eventually be forgotten, because at this point, if I were to die the world would not change at all. And that is what intrigues me the most.

Research on old folks, February 10 assignment

Social interactions
1. How often do old people interact with their grandchildren?
The grandparent-grandchild ties are different in every family. (Despite the lack of relatedness), If the parents of the child have a good relationship with their own parents, then the grandchild tends to be more exposed to his grandparents. Often and in most cases parents have no time to invest to enforce family bonds. It is until the children are old enough to choose create a relationship with their grandparents, and based on it is how often they will interact with them.
http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/article.aspx?id=4742

2. Where and how often do old people go outside with the purpose of socializing?
It is complicated for seniors to maintain relationships with younger people. Old people do not often find groups of people, even from the same generation, who share their hobbies, interests and experiences. Therefore, it is much more preferable to say at home. Otherwise, generally old people would go to calm places, such as: the church, the park, etc. Or they would visit relatives. It is estimated that seniors go outside with the purpose of socializing twice a week when they live in their own home. Social life is considered to be often absent when seniors choose to continue to live in their own homes.
http://www.ahealthyme.com/topic/srfriends
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_2006_Feb_13/ai_n16061492

3. What are our grandparents' roles?
The main role of a grandparent could be easily interpreted to be the teaching of life lessons to his grandchild. They have the desire of transferring values and "teaching interpersonal relationships" to future generations. Their education is based on life experiences with the purpose of positively contributing to their grandchildren lives and undoubtedly identify themselves.
http://www.springerlink.com/content/w327445m06219k47/

Statistics
4.What is the percentage of old people spending their time performing simple tasks as community service, or volunteering?
Currently the seniors who compromise to America by performing community service or volunteering is approximately 21 percent. On average these volunteers give on 4.4 hours per week. "The 26.4 million senior volunteers gave approximately 5.6 billion hours of their time."
http://www.independentsector.org/programs/research/senior_volunteers_in_america.html

5. What will the percentage of retirements be when the baby boomers retire?
Based on the fact that over the next 20 years, approximately 76 million Americans who were born between 1946 and 1964 will soon retire( baby boomers). Furthermore, that means facing questions such as "how, or even if, they will be able to afford retirement?"are present. The average retirement savings of baby boomers is inadequate.
http://www.opm.gov/feddata/retire/

6.How many old people know how to use today's modern technology?
The technology to which elders are exposed is usually medical technology. Also, there are modern and simple ways of having elders communicate to others in case of an emergency or if they need assistance. The technology that develops today for the elders has the purpose to make their lives much more simple and give peace to those who worry about them. Old people are not exposed to modern artifacts, such as ipod, PSP, etc. by our culture. It is easily concluded that they will not be interested.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/119290/modern_technology_used_to_help_ancient.html

7.What percent of old people are widows?
Graph representation of the percentage of widowed seniors by gender:

http://www.project.org/info.php?recordID=370

In nursing homes
8.What do old people do for fun?
Activities such as: Monthly birthday parties, musical events, trips and tours, exercise fun and physical fitness, etc. performed in nursing homes with the purpose of having fun. This is general information about nursing homes, in my opinion to make people have a positive idea about this type of places. It is stated that "the planning and implementation of activities comes from requests by residents, families, staff, and volunteers," so that elders also have a say in their daily activities.
http://seniors-site.com/nursingm/activity.html

9.What are their responsibilities?

In nursing homes the patients have right and responsibilities. These are set with the purpose of improving the health and well-being of the seniors. Examples of these responsibilities are: Respect and Nondiscrimination, Participation in Treatment Decisions, etc.

http://www.patientadvocate.va.gov/rights.asp

10.How often do your kids check up on you?
The statistics show that more than 50% of nursing home residents do not have visitors, and as an outcome seniors spend part of their time alone and isolated. To address this question, as previously mentioned in answer to question number one, the parent-child or the grandparent-grandchild ties vary between each family. In nursing homes seniors have the right to receive visitors at adequate hours. It is their children's choice on how often to visit their parents. It is estimated that patients who have visitors meet with them twice a month.

http://www.theseniorsource.org/pages/friendlyvisitor.html

Medical issues
11.How has medical advances affected the way old people live?
Medical technology, specially in nursing homes, help the seniors and the staff to make the seniors lives easier. When a senior needs assistance on going to the restroom he could easily contact a staff member or a nurse. Or the use of the electronic pillbox. Seniors feel more safe with these type of alarms. Also medical research develops new ways of remaining healthy or curing diseases, which satisfies the elders.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/tech/news/6231831.html

12.How often do old people go to the hospital?
Elders go to the hospital often due to the different and common illness they develop at old age. For example, it is estimated that an elder with Arthritis goes to the hospital every month with the purpose of being checked and perform special exercises. In case of emergency, elders are known to visit the ER and remain there longer than a young person.
http://www.beverlyhospital.org/services/centers/senior-adult-unit
http://www.obleness.org/services/default.asp?id=13

13.How long is the life expectancy for the average human?
The average Lifespan of a human being is 30,000 days to 40,000 days if fortunate (83-100). Lifespan has changed over the years and it is predicted to keep changing.
http://www.imminst.org/forum/index.php?act=ST&f=67&t=680&s

14.On average how many seniors take pills daily?
Most seniors between the ages of 65-84 are often to consume medicine. Seniors around these ages tend to have health problems or feel stressed. Because of the medication frequency there are new technology used with the purpose of having an organize and simple system that would benefit the seniors, the pillbox.
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=89320

15. What is the most common illness among old people?
Hypertension is the most common illness among the elderly society, followed by Arthritis. These illness are known to generally strike at old age.
http://www.bhj.org/journal/2002_4401_jan/review_61.htm

Researching and answering the question improved my understanding on the seniors way of life. Elders in our culture are considered as incapable of living on their own. Nursing homes are now more available for adults to register their parents. These offer a comfortable life to the seniors. However, most seniors have no visitors and those who have visitors they only receive them a few times a month. Seniors live isolated and develop feelings of loneliness. Elders who choose to live at home tend to worry their families because they might not be safe. Safe from themselves.
The struggles elders face are due to the physical inability of performing daily tasks. Technology offers availability to communicate and feel much more secure. Medicine keeps on developing many ways of curing diseases and keeping the elders healthy. Also, there are associations that offer seniors to volunteer and contribute to America. There is however a limit age of approximately 75 years old. After that age, elders are now considered as reserve that needs attention. Seniors have specific places to live, socialize, spend time, etc. And all these are isolated from younger people. Because of the lack of relatedness, old people and young people are often not to interact with one another, even if they are family.

Meaningful Life and Old Folks (15 questions)

Social interactions
1.How do old people generally relate to strangers?
2.Based on what would old people generally categorize themselves among the old society?
3. How do old people treat one another? How can you compare it to young adults?
4. Stereotypically, gossiping is known to be the most interesting activity for women since around their 30's. How is it that it is difficult for a 30 year old woman to constantly gossip with a 70 year old woman? Would this be due to the lack of exposure in society?
And what are their roles?
5. If old people were to interact more with the youth, how would our culture shift? And where and how often do old people go outside with the purpose of socializing with others.
6. Based on media's definition of young people (technology addicts), In what way could old people relate to us based on interests or hobbies.
7. If corporate culture (new movies. magazines, clothes, electronics) is the youth's number one conversation topic, and old people is rarely exposed to it; what other conversation topics can be created to satisfy both, old people and young people?
8. How could elders cross the line that divides living as an old person (Doing generally nothing) and young adults (beginning of their lives, making money)?
9. Based on my previous interviews, aspects such as family, love, etc. are identified as the meaning of life by the elders. If young people has a very much similar meaning of life, could we use this to relate to elders more easily?

Statistics
10.At what age do old people consider themselves as "reserve"?
11.How many old people spend their time performing simple tasks such as cleaning community places?
12.What is the percentage of old people working at a supermarket packing the costumer's items?

13.What will the percentage of retirements be when the baby boomers retire? How would this affect the economy?
14.Considering that a high percentage of the population is above 60 years old, what kind of jobs could be offered from now on to keep balance or even improve the economy?

Objective
15.What can be done to motivate old people to live and contribute?

How do I feel about old people?

I think Old people have still so much to live. Most people sees them as our past but they could also be our future. It is because elders do not participate in our lives as much. They are kept away from us by us, and they keep themselves that way. I also think old people have so much to offer. They have experienced so much in their lives and their words can guide us out of problems they have seen before. Even though I do think that their advice might not work because of the generation gap, it can still be applied to our lives. Regardless if the person is wise or not they still contribute to the 6.8 billion opinions in the world, somebody will listen to that person thinking he or she is right. Most of us do not bother to know beyond more what is communicated about old people. We believe that the information we receive about them is enough to have them participate in our lives time to time. In our culture it is believed that we do not need old people to live, therefore there is no need to include them.


Media communicates four different types of old people and how they relate to the youth. As discussed in Life Doesn't have to be meaningless class, these tropes are:
- The old wise person that passes wisdom to the youth.
- The wise old person that talks to the resistant youngster who refuses to listen.
- The old person that tries to give wisdom but the young person refuses it, and later he goes back to that old person recognizing he was right.
-The old person who talks nonsense, and the young person avoids his words.

These tropes are seen mostly in movies and most people believe old people do fit in any of these categories. It is normal for us to categorize others, and if these categories are even brought to us then we cannot avoid using them. We have the need to somehow separate ourselves from others. Raze in not enough, culture is not enough, therefore, age must be also used. We give each other our place in life and we are expected to behave according to it. Otherwise it would be considered as rebellion.


I never considered the fact that most young people have no contact with old people. Other than their grandparents, old people are not out there in their lives. This supports my idea on our culture not needing old people to live. We tend not to form bonds with old people for different reasons. It could be that because of the lack of exposure we have to them or they to us. Or because we cannot relate sufficiently due to our backgrounds in society. I think it is because we learn not to relate to them. The opposite of old is young, and opposites tend to avoid one another. We consider ourselves to be so much more different than the elders, not only physically but mentally, even though we are all human beings. Our culture communicates that being old is actually a negative thing. Most people do not wish to become old, even though it is inevitable. We are too afraid of accepting this fact, that we do not even attempt to relate to it.
People also think that the life of an elder is boring, meanwhile they are working hard most of the time so that when they retire thay can finally have the life of their dreams.


If the ideal that we now have about old people changes then we would include them more in our lives. In other words, if we are communicated that old people do contribute to society then we would not see them as useless human beings taking up space in the planet. Most elders feel so distant from us because we keep on reminding them the burden they are in our lives. At one point our old parents are not our parents any longer, they are people we must look after because of their incapability to live normally. We enforce our own fear of becoming older. In my opinion loneliness is the worse feeling in the world, the feeling of not being needed by anyone, is like being dead. Of course most old people only wait to die and feel resigned, they feel that they cannot do anything to contribute.

I too personally used to feel afraid of getting old. I used to think that I was not going to be able to do what I can do now. This thought by itself disempowered me to live now. why should I be afraid of my certain future? After interviewing old people I came to realize that being old is part of life, and I can still contribute to the world at that age. Many young people today are not effective. They are born, they grow up, they reproduce, and they die. Having children becomes the biggest accomplishment in their lives. Sadly in this world we cannot afford to live simply live like that. We most work hard in order to achieve mayor goals and be effective. However, we must also be aware that the only time we have to live is now. Elders suggest future generations to live every moment as best as possible, this could be a WARNING that most people refuse to listen because "old people are just too different and difficult to relate to".


Those who are useless, regardless of their age, are the ones who should carry the definition of being old. I think this is due the lack of encouragement we give to one another. We learn to just take our place in the world, even though we have the power to change it. I personally feel angry to hear the plans for the future of some of the people in my generation. Today, the youth feels so useless, and even feeling this way they still refuse to relate to elders. They leave the contribution to other people out of their league, like Obama or Martin Luther King. Meanwhile they keep on wasting water, taking on world resources, polluting the air, and then complain. I am still thinking of ways of changing this ridiculous ideal. We are all the same and we are all capable of being effective. We must stop this nonsense before it is too late to remediate the situation.

In conclusion, I feel that old people are no victims, and they should begin contributing. There are many ways to contribute. Elders are physically capable of doing simple tasks that would benefit others and themselves. They lived a long time without depending on others but themselves to make things happen, there is no reason to stop now. If old people wish to participate more in our lives, then they should make it happen. If we feel that old people is being pushed away, then we should stop it. In the end we are all human beings that have experienced being young and will experience being old. Ultimately the only aspect that differs us from older people is age.

Interview with Old people

Interview 2

(This interview was with a stranger in a working office)
name: Susan age: 78

1. Do you have any plans for the future or are you just waiting to die?
No, my plans for the future are to continue what I do. I assist at a Buddhist Monastery and I also do house cleaning.

2.If I were to encourage you to go out and do some activity, what would you think and would you do it?
I would like to go running with my daughter in New York. Go to shows and restaurants. Give me 3 months to do this because I really would like to do it. Thank you so much.

3. Have you felt disempowered most of your life?
Yes, until five years ago when I realized I could rely on others.

4. How do you think the youth should treat elders?
Treat them with respect. They must be self aware and be patient enough to listen to their point of view, even if they don't agree.

5. Do you consider yourself as a wise human being? If so why?
I feel I have a communication problem. I don't feel I am wise because I keep comparing myself to the best.

6.What is your understanding of happiness at this point?
Happiness is when you love, sadness comes when you don't love.

7. Why is it that most elders feel resigned at this age?
Is because they base their lives on what they do rather on what they think.

8. What can you do to still feel alive?
Working and making sure I am happy every moment. It comes from the inside. I am still strugguling, that is why I am working on it.

9. Based on your experiences, what is living a good and meaningful life?
Not to do anything harmful, do good. Understand yourself.


Interview 3

(Interview with my neighbor)
name: Ellen Age: 73

1. Do you have any plans for the future or are you just waiting to die?
I do have plans for the future. I want to spend time with my family because I have no much time left.

2. If I were to encourage you to go out and do some activity, what would you think and would you do it?
It depends on the activity, if its tyring I wouldn't do it. Your request is unusual.

3. Have you felt disempowered most of your life?
No

4. How do you think the youth should treat elders?
They should be more respectful. I don't think they have to take care of us, but if we were to need help they should be there.

5. Do you consider yourself as a wise human being? If so why?
Yes, because I live through so much. Being wise is not being smart but knowing based on experience.

6.What is your understanding of happiness at this point?
Spending time with my family.

7. Why is it that most elders feel resigned at this age?
Because we get tired easily, because we don't have the abilities that we used to have.

8. Do you really think society considers old people as useless? if so why?
Yes, a lot of people do. They think we aren't able to do what others can.

9. What can you do to still feel alive?
Be with my family. Go around and visit places I like. You know the good stuff.

10. Based on your experiences, what is living a good and meaningful life?
To do what you feel is right.

Interview with an Old person

Interview with my Great-Grandmother. Age: 90

1. Do you have any plans for the future or are you just waiting to die?
To travel and visit my daughter in Texas more often.

2. How would you consider your life at this point?
I do not regret of anything I have done. I am very happy with myself. Happy. Calmed. To keep enjoying life along with my grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I have had a nice long life.

3. What is the best or the happiest moment of your life? Would you say you found the meaning of your life in that moment?
When my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were born. They bring me so much happiness. Yes i can say that I found meaning in my life when they were born.

4. Why do you think you feel much more peace now than 20 years ago?
Maybe because I appreciate life so much more now.

5. If I were to encourage you to go out and do some activity, what would you think and would you do it?
If you encourage me on going outside and do something what would I think. I would do it. Well to begin with, I like going outside and walk around the Cri cri (park) and walk on the bench and look at the birds. I would think that you are an adorable great-grandchild and I would walk with you to the park and eat ice-cream on the way home.

6. Have you felt disempowered most of your life?
No, I have never felt that way. Most of my life I had what I wanted.

7. Do you really think society considers old people as useless? if so why?
Yes, I think so. Because a lot of people think we are useless, that we are a burden and we do not participate in their lives.

8. What can you do to still feel alive?
To keep on enjoying the company of all of you. And most of all, to feel the love all of you would like to give me and correspond to it with all my heart.

9. How different did your generation treated old people compared to my generation?
My generation respected old people very much. We gave them their place and we admired them for their knowledge and wisdom. Compared to your generation, we are very disrespected, ignored, and we are treated as if we do not exists. And sometimes we are considered as crazy.

10. Do you consider yourself as a wise human being? If so why?
I do consider myself as a wise person. after all you know what they say "más sabe el diablo por viejo que por diablo" We have more experience and we have lived so much more than you. We lived so many things before you.

11. What do you think the youth should do in order to have a good life?
Well young people should treat their elders with respect and enjoy life as much as possible. Be happy and loving with those around you.

12. Who do you think we should listen to, our parents or our grandparents? why?
I think you should listen to both of us. Your parents because they give you an education and they always want the best for you. And your grandparents because we have so much more experience.

13. How well do you think I can learn from your mistakes considering that my generation is very different from yours?
They say that you can always learn so much from mistakes. In my generation my parents used to be very strict, and I had to leave my mother with her hair done and with food on the table. And I did not do that with my children or my grandchildren.

14. Do you think things such as true happiness exist? if yes, how do you think we can achieve that?
Happiness exists in each one of us. I think you cannot accomplish it, It is based on attitude. It is simply to be at peace with yourself and life. Don't get mad for things that make no sense.

15. Do you think is too late for you to look for a new meaning for your life?
No, What I lived I enjoyed very much and I still feel it.

16. Why is it that at this age most old people feel resigned?
We feel this way because people push us aside very much. They give no importance to us and we feel alone and sad sometimes because we are not noticed.

17. Did you work hard most of your life so that at this age you could live peacefully?
Yes, I tried very hard while working in the hospital and now I feel at peace because I knew that I saved so many people.

18. What is your understanding of peace at this point?
Peace is to be fine with yourself and those around you. To feel fine because of what I did during my life.

19. What is your understanding of happiness at this point?
Happiness is to have satisfaction. I am very proud of the job I had. I had a husband I loved so much. I had children who gave me grandchildren and great-grandchildren who I love so much and will always keep in my heart.

20. Based on your experiences, what is living a good and meaningful life?
Living a good and meaningful life is to enjoy any job you have, to travel, to meet new people, to love your husband and children and grandchildren, and to never feel defeated for those bad things that happen in life. Remember that from mistakes you can learn so much.

Questions to an Old person

1. Do you have any plans for the future or are you just waiting to die?
2. How would you consider your life at this point?
3. What is the best or the happiest moment of your life? Would you say you found the meaning of your life in that moment?
4. Why do you think you feel much more peace now than 20 years ago?
5. If I were to encourage you to go out and do some activity, what would you think and would you do it?
6. Have you felt disempowered most of your life?
7. Do you really think society considers old people as useless? if so why?
8. What can you do to still feel alive?
9. How different did your generation treated old people compared to my generation?
10. Do you consider yourself as a wise human being? If so why?
11. What do you think the youth should do in order to have a good life?
12. Who do you think we should listen to, our parents or our grandparents? why?
13. How well do you think I can learn from your mistakes considering that my generation is very different from yours?
14. Do you think things such as true happiness exist? if yes, how do you think we can achieve that?
15. Do you think is too late for you to look for a new meaning for your life?
16. Why is it that at this age most old people feel resigned?
17. Did you work hard most of your life so that at this age you could live peacefully?
18. What is your understanding of peace at this point?
19. What is your understanding of happiness at this point?
20. Based on your experiences, what is living a good and meaningful life?