"Living funeral" thoughts on list

While I was making the list I noticed that out of all the people I know and consider my friends, I would exclude most of the from the living funeral. Thinking of the memories I created with specific people, only those that emotionally affected me the most are invited. I think this is because at the end I started thinking about the beginning. I chose people who met me when I was very young and are close to me. They remind me who I was and Who I have become. In my list there are people who I met recently, but they had a great impact on me that I felt the need of adding them to the list. I consider them as my mirror, I see myself in them as if they were my own future. I would love these people on my list to spend my last moments with me talking about my past and their own future. They are people I love very much and it saddens me to think that If I were to die soon, I did not tell them how important they are to me. This list helped me value the people around me even more than before. Even though the possibility of me being diagnosed with a lethal disease is small, I still think that I could die any moment and I'd like to spend my time with those I love as if it were the last.

Regarding Morrie, I think he is a courageous man who is willing to live until his last breath. Many people today, consider themselves "already dead" or "dead walkers" for the lack of joy and happiness in their lives. Morrie adapted to his own circumstances and learnt how to live happily with these. Having a living funeral could be consider as a farewell, but it could also be having others witness the great person you are still living as. He could be easily identified as a living model, but it would be rather complicated to apply this way of thinking to our normal lives. We are too attached to idealism that we forget the importance of actually living. Some of us are not even familiar with this concept and live their lives along with others as a herd of goats. Complicating ourselves rather than living emotionally effortless seems to be far more interesting to most people.

This reminds me of the quote from the movie Brave heart, "Every man dies, no man really lives". This statement could apply to everyone including Morrie. What is being alive to us?
If our definition of death is entirely clear, then why is it that our definition of life is often confusing to us? Life could be a mere balance between good and bad. A balance that no one entirely possesses. It is possible that by experiencing sadness and experiencing happiness equally would allow us to discover the feeling of being alive. However most people do not experience this balance. There is often more black than white within ourselves.

I think living funerals are not formally practiced by most people because the condemn person is too afraid of not living his future. Death is part of life, and people do not fear it. People are scared of the transition and what they will miss if they are gone. Technically when a person dies everything is over for him or her. Most people cannot accept "the end", therefore they rely on beliefs regarding afterlife in order to feel better. There are people who even think they will be happier in the afterlife and are looking forward on dying. However, dead or alive the world will not stop rotating because of our existence.

I am personally not afraid of dying at this point. I have accepted my fragile mortality in this world. However, I am still sad that I am not leaving sufficiently behind. Thinking of the end makes me feel so insignificant. It would not be a good idea to fight the immensity of life and death. I am currently alive, and whatever it is to come then so be it. Ultimately there is no right and wrong on how to live our lives. Therefore, there is no need on expectations. A living funeral would be a mere farewell that would be eventually be forgotten, because at this point, if I were to die the world would not change at all. And that is what intrigues me the most.